When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
