we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
