Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
