you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize