So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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