i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
