Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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