So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
