she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
