as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
