i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
