If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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