I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
