That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize