My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
