so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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