I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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