There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
