guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
