if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Im part way to drunk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
