he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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