the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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