He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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