Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize