And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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