Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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