Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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