So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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