My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
