whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
