a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
