and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize