I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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