I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
