So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
