so let's talk penis.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
