I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
