Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
