Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
