Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
