he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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