Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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