I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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