i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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