I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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