So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
