and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
that may or may not have been my penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
