I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize