Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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