twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
