I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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