My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
