weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
