were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
