if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
