shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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