Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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