There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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