well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
